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OUTHOUSE
STORIES
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From: Sink Tinklers
About a year ago me and my friend were
having a sleep over at my house. We were playing truth or dare.
I picked dare. she dared me
to pee in the sink. I told her no, but i would if she would pee in
the sink at the same time. She said yes. So we stripped everything
off except our bras and sat in the double sinks in my bathroom. We
were both too scared to pee, so i told a really funny joke. She started
laughing so hard she started to pee like crazy in the sink. I started
laughing really hard to because i was watching my friend sitting
in a sink butt naked, and peeing like a hose flows. Pretty soon Both
of the sinks were filled with pee. That was a night we will never
forget.
From: Pooper
One night when i was like 7, i was over
playing at my friend Kims house. (i am a boy, kim is a girl) We
were out playing tag when i
had the biggest cramp ever. I new i whould never make it to the bathroom
in time so i started to unzip my pants when it happened. I loaded
my pants. I was sooooooo embarrassed. I had to go find kim and tell
her what happened. She took me inside to her mom, and her mom made
me take all my clothes off so she could clean me. I took my clothes
off in her moms room, but then had to walk down the hallway butt
naked to get to the shower. Her mom had to clean the whole back and
front of my butt. I was soooooooo embarrassed i was crying while
she was cleaning me. I had to put a pair of kims underpants on untill
i got home. Let me tell you, those panties are not made for boys.
She still calls me Pooper.
From: PeePee
One day when i was at school, i had
to pee REALLY bad! I told my teacher i had to go so bad i was going
to pee my pants. She told
me to run to the bathroom. So i did, but when i got there, all the
stals were taken up. I ran back to my class room (pee creeping out
and all) and told my teacher they were all taken. She told me to
go into the boys restroom and use one of their stalls if i had to
go that bad. So i ran as fast as i could to the boys room, and luckily
no one was in there. After i was finished releasing gallons of pee,
i stepped outside the stall and there was the hottest boy in school
standing at the urinal. I was frozen in shock! When he was done with
his business, he turned around and saw me standing there and ran
out. He never looked at me again.
From Peeing in Private:
When I was in 4th grade, my class went on a school trip. We went
to these woods for a hike. Half way through our hike, I had to pee
REALLY bad. I told my teacher, and she took me behind this big tree.
She told me to crouch down and just pee. But the bad thing was, she
woulden't look away. So i had to pee right infront of her. it was
SOOOOOO embarrassing!
From Walk of Shame:
I was so exited when i got a letter
saying id be starting work at a classy theatre up town which was
really swanky,
anyway to celebrate
the night before i started work my friends and i desided what a
perfect excuse for a night on the tiles.so we partied & partied
afterwards we went to a really bad indian take-away and being REALLY
drunk i
desided to have the HOTTEST curry available.
Next day it was a hot day so i wore
a loose skirt &blouse &mybest
shoes so, off to work, had an ice cold orange to start me off,arived
at work everything fine (including my boss!)i was heading home i
was feeling funny so desided to take the lift whilst in the lift
(on my own) i had a sudden urge to fart i was alone and no 1 had
called for the lift so i let out this very wet fart big misstake!
i had runny pooh all down my legs over the lift floor and the smell
was rancid i had no choice but to wait for the lift to stop at ground
floor .As the lift opened there was my boss and my colleges who all
held there noses as i did the WALK OF SHAME whilst hearing my boss
asking the cleaner to clean up my mess.Needless to say i packed in.
From Pee Pants:
I was in 6th grade and one day we all had to sit down on the floor
in our class room to watch a movie with all of the other 6th grade
classes. Well ever since I was little I've always had to hold my nose
when ever I sneeze (which is very bad for you by the way). Well low
and behold as I'm sneezing I let out this big fart. Well I was wearing
a skirt that day so it echoed off the floor and every one heard it.
So of course my face turns beat red. The whole class looked at me
but I pretended like it wasn't me. Well after school my friends made
fun of me so bad I was so embarressed. I still can't live it down
today. But now that I'm older I look back on that day and I almost
pee my pants laughing so hard!!!!
From Anonymous:
When i was 12, i was a tag along kid
with my brother cuz i didn't have many friends. One day i went over
his friend Jimmy's house with my brother Mike. We all decided to play
man hunt in the woods near his house. I was on Jimmy's team. We were
heading toward a fence that he wanted me to climb over to follow him
when i felt the WORST cramps ever! So i said i would catch up with
him. At this point i didn't know what i was thinking.....I found a
nice spot behind a bush right near the swamp. Without hesitation and
a little reluctance i let out the meanest squirt ever. That thing
made my mud whistle flutter for a good while. Instantly my pants were
warm with a huge puddle of diarrea.....and OH MAN it wreaked.....all
of the sudden i heard my brother coming down the path, he came around
the corner and said he had found me...he was like " What the heck
is that smell?"....of course i pointed to the swamp...but that didn't
help when i walked back with a limp and that stuff dripped down my
legs and smelled wicked bad. I told them i took a poop in my pants
and they told jimmy's mom, and she took me out into the backyard and
she had me take my pants off, my undies looked like betty crocker
spilled her brownie mix on me and my butt was completely brown, smeared
with my own mess. Jimmy and Mike had to hold up a towel to cover my
nude body as Jimmy's mom squirted my butt down with that hose....man
was it cold.. i had to spread my cheeks so she could get a good cleaning,
it was sooooo embarassing. Jimmy wouldn't lend me a pair of pants
to wear because he was afraid i was gonna have the runs again. So
i had to borrow a pair of his old underwear, and wait inside till
my mom could pick me up......i have never lived this down since, and
how the heck could i forget my brothers friends mom spraying my nude
body out in her backyard?
From Spot:
I was at this awesome party. There were
so many people there, including the guy that I was interested in.
Well it was my girlfriend's party, so me and a few other friends decided
to put a cake in her face. Well, while Sharon was caking her, I was
getting some food...I was hungry!! Right when Sharon hit her, Nikki's
big old butt flew into me, knocking me over, and all the food flying
everywhere!!! I laughed so hard, i well, um...peed in my pants!!!
All of my friend's saw, and the WORST part is that my crush saw too!!!
Now people always call me "spot" because of the spot in the carpet!!
From Anonymous:
When I was about 9, me
and my friends went out into the woods to play dare. In dare, we all
agreed on a dare the other person should do. Then we all contributed
money to the person if he was to do it. Well, my friends all agreed,
and gave me $20 if I peed in my pants right there. Well, I had a lot
of money, and didn't need the 20. So I made a deal. If I peed in my
pants, they had to do it, too. The reward was seeing each other wet
their pants! So we went into our secret area of the woods where no
one would see us. We hesitated. Then one of my friends started peeing.
After that, we all did. When we were done. The front back, and legs
of our pants were wet! We were sort of shocked, and didn't know what
to do. Luckily, one of my friends lived close by the woods. So we
all went to his backyard, stripped naked, and washed ourselves and
our clothes! Totally embarrassing! Then as we were getting putting
our clothes back on, I grabbed my friend's pants and ran off with!
em! So he had to run 3 blocks in his underwear! Later we all got a
laugh out of it! But we'll certainly never do that again!
From LJ:
Wizzy trouble- I had
some trouble going pee after having my first child. I was susceptible
to bladder infections. So one day I took this little pill to help
in the onslaught of a bladder infection. A few hours later, I went
to go pee and a nice, healthy stream came out and it was sheer relief.
I went to flush and was horrified when I saw I had peed out a bright
orange liquid. Completely forgetting I had taken that pill, I panicked
and called the 24 hour nurse line at the hospital. I thought I was
hemorraging or I had some awful urethra cancer, or something. I called
and explained my "symptoms", asking if I should rush to the ER. The
lady politely said, "Mam, you said you had some problems going to
the bathroom-did you take medicine for it?" Then it hit me. I had
taken the bladder infection medicine and it dyed my pee orange. I
was so embarrassed, I just said to the nurse, "Uh.......nevermind",
and hung up & felt so dorky!
From Spencer:
One day in second grade I had the biggest
dose of diareah that I have ever seen during recess. Of course in
second grade recess is the best part of the. There was no way I was
going to go inside to let it out. My second grade logic told me that
if I did it when nobody was looking, I would be OK. I hid under some
playground equipment and let it all fly out with my pants on. As soon
as I stood up, I realized that my drawers were loaded. I went to the
sick room and had to tell them I pooped my pants. I changed my pants
and my cheeks were caked. My grandma who was the librarian had to
take me to my babysitters. She had to clean my drawers and send them
home with me in a bag. My buddies still call me poopie pants.
From Anonymous:
When I was
in the 5th grade about 10 years ago, something embarrassing had happened
to me. We were taking a math test and I had to piss really bad. I
hurried up and finished and asked if I could use the restroom. As
I was going down the hallway I could feel little bits of piss creep
out. So I walked a little faster. I finally reached the restroom.
Before I tell what happened, at this school, the staff used the same
restroom as the students. I bursted through the door and dashed towards
the closest and empty urinal. As I was dashing towards it, I un-zipped.
I reached the urinal and flipped it out and let it go. It felt so
good. It was if I was almost in heaven. I didn't really realize that
the principal was at the urinal next to me. I also didn't realize
i wasn't aiming. I don't even think I cared or was holding on to my
dick. But at that moment I really didn't care. I had finished. I was
there for 3 minutes!! non-stop pissing. It felt great. i was so relieved.
I stood there for a few seconds and let the last bit dribble out.
I zipped up and got ready to leave when I looked at the urinal next
to me where the principal stood. His pants were soaked! Then I realized
I had let a gallon of piss out on his pants instead of in the urinal!
Man was I scared and also embarrassed because my best friend had seen
it all 2 urinals down! But luckily I didn't get much punishment for
my piss accident. I had to clean all 5 bathroom's for a week and scrub
the urinals down good. This taught me to make sure next time I aim
and watch.
From Excuse
My Mom:
WELL, ABOUT
6 YEARS AGO I WAS DATING THIS MAN THAT I WAS REALLY FOND OF. WE HAD
BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT 1 1/2 MONTHS AT THIS TIME AND I THUGHT THAT
IT WAS ABOUT TIME FOR HIM TO MEET MY PARENTS. WE HAD PLANS TO GO TO
THE AMUSEMENT PARK ONE SATURDAY AND SINCE WE HAD TO PASS MY PARENTS
HOUSE TO GET THERE I DECIDED THAT THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
FOR THEM TO MEET. BOY WAS I WRONG!!! WE HAD GONE INSIDE AND TALKED
TO MY FATHER FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES WHEN I ASKED WHERE MOM WAS. HE INFORMED
ME THAT SHE WAS NOT FEELING WELL BUT WOULD BE OUT SHORTLY. THE MEETING
WENT WELL, NEEDLESS TO SAY HE WAS A TERRIFIC MAN. AND DID I MENTION
THAT HE WAS VERY FUNNY TO. AS WE WERE LEAVING HE SAID A COUPLE OF
TEAR JERKEERS AND WE ALL LAUGHED SO HARD THAT WE COULDN'T STOP. I'LL
NEVER FORGET THE LOOK ON MY MOMS FACE WHEN SHE SAID "PLEASE DONT'
MAKE ME LAUGH ANYMORE, I CAN'T TAKE IT . SHE WAS STANDING QUITE FUNNY.
STIFF TO BE EXACT. SHE TURNED AROUND AND TRIED TO RUSH TO THE BATHROOM
WHEN ALL YOU COULD SEE WAS THE BACH OF HER WHITE SHORTS IMMEDIATELY
TURNED BROWNAS SHE TRIED TO RUN AND QUINCH HER BUTT CHEEKS AT THE
SAME TIME. AS YOU ALREADY SHOULD KNOW , THAT WILL BE A DAY THAT WE
WILL NEVER LET HER FORGET. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THE BUTT OF OUR JOKE
SESSIONS SIGNED, EXCUSE MY MOM
From Anonymous:
One day,
my cousin was bugging me to take him to see this new Pokemon movie
at the movie theaters. I reluctantly agreed. But I figured that if
I HAD to go, I would bring along my NEW boyfriend. Well, it was about
1/2 way through the movie, and my bf and I were in the middle of a
really good make-out session, when my little cousin stands up in his
chair, and screams : " POOPEY TIME!!!!!" Every-1 started laughing,
and lets just say I never saw THAT hottie again!!!!
From
Jaffa Joys:
When my
son was about 3 years old he never liked chocolate but loved the orange
coating on Jaffa's, so he used to suck off the coating and leave the
chocolate lying around... One day while making his crib I came across
one of his leftover chocolate balls, thinking it was my lucky day,
( as I love chocolate )I put it in my mouth, only to discover it was
not one of his chocolate balls but one of his own brand of droppings
from his diaper.....!!!!!!
From Poopface:
One time, when I was a little
kid, I lived on a farm up in Iowa and we had all kinds of cows and chickens and sheep and
animals. Me and my friends were playing in the corn field having a big mudball fight
cuz it just had rained a bunch and there was plenty of mud to play with. There were
about 5 or 6 of us kids and we used to do some fun things like try and feed this neighbor
horse red hot candies to make him mad and we would try to ride the neighbor horse and he
would buck us down off him and we would hide behind trees and throw rocks at cars on the
little road that ran back of our lot. So, this day we are having this huge mudball
fighting and I was putting rocks in my balls to make them fly faster and hurt more.
These retarded kids lived right down the street and they were so goofy and weird I
remember when I was little one of them kicked me right in the balls for no reason so I
always hated him so much. These retarded kids used to ride around on their bikes and
throw sticks at all the other kids, they were older than us so were kinda scared of them
so we start pegging them with mudballs that day cuz they freaked us out while were growing
up so much. So, one of these tardo kids just picks up some cow patty and starts
chunking balls of cow poop back at us. One of my buddys Clint got hit square in the
jaw with a big old piece of cow poop. Thes retards were really good shots with the
poop and everyone scattered and regrouped to make more mudballs to throw at
the tardos but next thing yuou know I get clocked right in the forehead with a cow
turdling. Smack! I was so pissed that I start throwing my mudballs like crazy
at this one tardo kid Steven, but I couldn't aim at him good cuz I was so pissed off about
my poop face. I finally got Steven in the neck with a mudball filled with rocks but
then Stacy the other tardo kid (they were brothers), hit me again with a cowball, right in
the chest. We all finally run off from them and went home. I get home and my
mom is asking me what happened, why do I smell so bad and I didn't tell her, but all the
other buddies of mine went and told the little girls in school that me and Clint got
smacked with cowpoop and then all the kids started calling us poopface and poopkid and all
kinds of other stupid names like that I was so mad. Those tardos moved out pretty
soon to some other city and me and Clint never got to get them back. I'll never
forget that cowpoop hitting my
forehead!
From
Thrower@FHS:
I am
around 20 now, but when I was about 17, I went over to my girlfriends house for dinner.
Her mom cooked this really great chili, but it made my tummy rumble. I went upstairs to
use the bathroom so that they wouldn't hear my explosions. After finishing I noticed that
the toilet wouldn't flush! I couldn't think of what to do so I just picked it up out of
the toilet and threw it out of the window. It was just my luck that the upstairs bathroom
overlooked the dining room where dinner was being eaten! It was also just perfect that the
dining room had a large glass window in the ceiling. Well, the poop came flying down and
landed on the ceiling. As I came downstairs I noticed that everyone was staring at me.Iwas
so embarassed!I never went out with that girl again!
From Anonymous:
I have lot of embarrassing moments but i
think this is my most embarrassing one. I went to a party where we all got drunk. It was
at my boyfriends house. I had to poo. So i went to the washroom and made a big fart. poo
splatted all over my ass so i decided to take a shower. So i took a shower and dried my
self with a towel and went back to the party. lol guess what i was missing, MY
CLOTHES!!!!!! but no one told me that i was naked and i started dancing and stuff. After
the party, my boyfriend still wanted to embarrass me without me even knowing, so he said
lets take pictures together. When we were done, he started to touch my NIPPLES. So i ran
out of the house. Bad move, my house was far away and i had to walk home. I felt like I
was gonna die. First i started to walk home by covering my ass and breast, but then i
thought hell with that, so i started yelling saying that i'm naked look!!! !!!!!!!!!!
Every car that went by started honking there horns. I still didn't break up with him for
some reason and we even got married.
From Anonymous:
When I was 19 there was a point where I was
drinking like crazy. This one time I spent 9 straight days drunk. By the end of the last
day my body couldn't take it any more. I was SICK. My friends wan't to go out and get
pizza, but couldn't, so I made them drive me home. The whole ride home I was throwing up
out the window. We were driving up this winding road really fast. My friend who was in the
back seat had the window lowered ( I was in the front seat) and all the vomit landed on
her face, lap and clothing. I felt so bad. Then when I got home I had to run to my
apartment, which was in the back of my aunts house. When i made to the bathroom I started
to throw up again but this time I was throwing up with much more force, so much force that
diareah came gushing out of my bum. I couldn't do anytthing but let it come out. Then I
got into the shower, clothing and all and stayed in there for hours.
From Anonymous:
ok i was 15 at the time and i
went out w/my boyfriend to this local restaurant but the food made me sick so i told him i
felt kinda sick so i asked if he could take me back home, so he did.When i got home i went
up stairs and went straight to the bathroom cause i had diarrea.After i went to the
bathroom 4/5 times i took some asprin and fell asleep,when i woke up i heard voices in the
kitchen i figured it was my mom and my sister.On the way to the kitchen i went downstairs
telling them what had happened including the part about me having diarrea,and me getting a
brown stain on my pants much to my surprise my boyfreind had come over wondering how i
felt and he heard every word I said I wanted to DIE!!!!!
From Anonymous:
One night me and my husband
were at a friends halloween party which everyone was in costums. well after about a couple
hours everyone was changing into regular clothes to be comfortable and get drunk. well i
didnt bring any clothes cause i didnt realize everyone was gonna change. well the friend
who was having the party offered to lend me some pants and a t shirt to borrow until the
next day. well i changed and everyone was having a great time drinking and cutting jokes.
we were all laughing so hard and i started falling over cause i was laughing so hard and
then it happened. everyone stopped and heard this big noise that sounded like a fart, but
it wasnt a fart i had ripped out the whole back of my friends jeans.but no one belived me
when i said i didnt fart they all said i shit myself and blew out my jeans. not to mention
that while all this was happening ! someone dropped a
piece of fudge on the floor and everyone thought i shit on the floor. the worse part was
that it wasnt even my jeans i ripped!
From Anonymous:
Well this one has already been mentioned by someone on here but I thought I would add mine
to make that person feel better. I was probably about 8 or 10 when my sister and I decided
to have a farting competition. Well I think I must have won coz I did such a big one that
not only did the gas come out but following that was a nice lot of diarrhea!!! Right on
the white carpet.... :)
From SHOOOOOWEEEEE:
One night my husband and I decided to go to
Quincy's to eat.We both ordered the buffet and then we went to our table.My son ,who was 2
was with us.My husband sat at the table with our son so I could go over to the buffet bar
and fix my plate.While I'm in the middle of fixing my dinner all I could hear was my son
saying"shoooooweeee daddy ,you stink.Daddy farted.Shoooweeee,you stink
daddy.Immediatly I started smiling and tried my best to keep from laughing out loud,but it
didn't work.I looked up and seen everyone looking over at our table and laughing at what
my son was saying to his daddy.I slowly finished my plate and as I turned around to go
back to sit down my son looked up at me and YELLED "MOMMY ....DADDY FARTED ON
ME".I started laughing so hard that I nearly spilled the food off my plate.And
believe me when I tell you that I did not wanna go back to that table.But I'v had alot of
fun telling that story to ALL our family and friends.
From Aries:
This story isn't about me but it is so
funny i want to tell you..
My boyfriend said he had gas build up, so i
gave him some mylanta, to relieve his pain. He laid down for a little while and suddenly
rushed to the bathroom. He spent about an half hour in there and when he came out i asked
if something was wrong. He said that he had a wet fart and wanted to check there was any
shit in his pants. He said that he wiped and wiped but nothing was there. But to my
surprise, when he turned around there was a large wet brown spot that had soaked through
his khakis. I told him, and he spent rest of the time in the bathroon because he was so
mortified.... he disposed of the pants, and wore his boxers home. He won't touch Mylanta
to this day.
From Poop Butt:
* A little side note from the Webmistress: This has to be my
favorite story so far. I laughed so hard when I read it!
Well, this happened when I was
about 17 after I had lunch at Subway. I forget what kind of sandwich I ate, but my
girlfriend and I both split a foot-long sandwich and then left to drive back to her house
about 30 miles away. On the way there, my girlfriend started complaining about
having some stomach cramps and so I had to pull over and let her go and use the toilet.
She told me that she was really sick and that she really wanted to go home and lay
down for a bit to feel better, so I got her home as quickly as possible. So, I
dropped her off and headed back home to my house.
On the way back, my stomach
began to hurt as well, but I just tried to ignore it. I was nearly home when a huge
burst of diarhhea broke loose from between my ass cheeks and soiled my jeans. It was
then that I realized that the Subway sandwich had caused this dis-ass-ter. I was
furious about it and had to go in to my parents and explain what had happened as the wet
poop had soaked clean through my trousers. So, what I did was to clean myself up and
then I put the dirtied Levi's in a trash bag.
I went back up to Subway that
evening and walked in with an angry frown on my face. I screamed, THIS IS WHAT YOUR
SHITTY FOOD DID TO ME, YOU UNCLEAN VERMIN!!! And I threw the bag of dirty poop pants
at the pimply kid that had served me this infected sandwich. Wet poop flew all over
the kid and I walked out laughing. It was embarrassing to me because my family knew
about the dirtied pants, but when I got back home and told them what I'd done to that kid,
we all had a good laugh over it. Sometimes I even tell that story over dinner and we
all have a nice hearty laugh and wonder how that kid's doing today...
Also From Poop Butt:
I was at a family party at my girlfriend's family's house. I was probably 18 yrs.
old at the time. Her family was hispanic and I can remember well the rising
crescendoes of conversation that would go on, like the sound of human machine-guns when
they spoke. They never spoke in hushed tones, it was always at level 9 or 10 and I
could never tell if they were fighting or whether they were having a good time. Most
of the time they sounded like they wanted to strangle one another, but I digress.
We had just finished dinner and Irena, my girlfriend's mother, had stuffed the turkey with
all kinds of weird shit, raisins and other crap, nuts, I can't remember exactly, but it
wasn't your normal Thanksgiving turkey, it was a turkey with some kind of crazy Colombian
twist. I had trouble stomaching the stuffing, but out of politeness, I decided to
eat it anyways.
The night before, my
girlfriend and I had snuck a twelve-pack or so of Budweisers from the refrigerator
downstairs and had drank it all up, got sloshy drunk and wild all night, we were both
feeling a little 'hair of the dog' the next morning. I, for one, was not interested
in eating any wild Colombian turkey or stuffing, but what choice did I have, I couldn't
refuse, it would be incredibly impolite, especially in a hispanic household, my being a
gringo and whatnot?
So, I ate the stuffing, raisins, nuts and all. It might as well have been a dessert
for all I could tell with all that crap in it. It was horrible and my stomach began
to grumble, audibly. After dinner, I went upstairs and relieved myself quite
explosively in the toilet and it was one of those multi-wipers. I used about half of
a toilet roll getting myself clean and
almost decided to take a shower, I was such a mess. When I flushed, the toilet water
rose, surprisingly enough after all of that toilet paper, to a level approaching the top
of the bowl, nearly centimeters from overflowing onto the tile floor beneath. I
watched apprehensively as the water slowly subsided to a normal level, and, satisfied that
the toilet was ok, I went back downstairs for a few Coronas, Tecates, sangria or whatever
the fuck
kind of mexican swill they were serving down there. I was offered more stuffing, but
refused, of course, way too full for that, I needed some pie.
Well, I guess the stuffing was kind of weird to my girlfriend as well, because she had to
go upstairs too for a turd-dumpling, so I watched her climb the stairs and wondered to
myself whether or not she would have trouble with the toilet, but dismissed my concern and
had another pull at my bottle of Corona. About 20 minutes later, Irena asked,
where's Michelle?? I shrugged, perplexedly, and said that I had no idea. Irena
went upstairs and found Michelle sopping up a floor full of waterlogged toilet paper,
squishy turds and piss. I felt kind of bad about it, but it was kind of funny too.
Irena accidentally slipped on a turd too and fell down in the mess. I could
hear her screaming in spanish from downstairs and could barely conceal my laughter.
The whole family(and it was a big family) ran upstairs to see what the commotion was and
witnessed the whole foul debacle firsthand.
There was much wringing of hands, loud talk in spanish and hullabaloo before the whole
thing was resolved, and I blamed the whole thing on my girlfriend's little brother before
it was all over. He got grounded for a week. It was one of the best days of my
life. Luckily, no one knew that I was the toilet mess culprit. I still have a
hearty laugh at that one when I think of all the trouble I caused those people on that
Happy Thanksgiving Day. I guess it served her mother right for serving that nasty
fucking stuffing. That stuff would make anyone wanna shit green.
And Another From Poop Butt:
It was a long time ago, I can
just barely remember it. Had to be one of my earliest memories, really. The
family was on an outing to buy X-mas presents at Target and my twin brother and I were
super excited about the trip. My dad always used to drive the car underneath the
Target sign, there were two posts holding up the sign, and the car would barely fit
between them. We used to cajole him into doing it because it seemed like such a
thrill at the time, we were both young, around 4yrs. old or something.
So, before we left the house, dad told us both, don't poop your pants at the store.
We used to have that habit of just pooping any old time, whenever we felt like it and this
infuriated dad to no end. So, we get in the store and I began running around the
store looking at toys and causing general mayhem wherever possible. There was no
controlling us, we were pretty fast little kids, and we'd almost always find a way to lose
mom and dad by hiding in the circular clothing racks or just getting lost in the aisles.
So, I guess I was so excited that I just pooped out a juicy log right into my
whitey-tighties. At first, the warm, gushy feeling wasn't so bad, but then, it began
to burn and become cold and runny. I remember it running down my leg and I knew I
was in trouble, there was no hiding the stench and the obvious turd-drippings on my
shoelaces. So, when dad found out, he gave me a spanking right there in the store
and I bawled like a little girl. Luckily, the poop created a cushioning buffer
between his hand and my young and tender asscheeks, but it also caused the poop to spray
out more and slather more areas of my buttocks. Our shopping trip was cut short, my
twin was pretty ticked at me and the whole family trip was ruined. But, inwardly, I
remembered kind of laughing about it to myself. I always liked to create trouble and
cause a scene, even at a young age, so, regardless of the humiliation and embarrassment,
the poop-squirt debacle, once again, was worth it. It was the beginning of a long
career in turd-dumpling fiascoes.
From KJ in Illinois:
On the first date I went on with my ex
husband, he wanted to eat at Long John Silvers. I agreed, but I had been dieting and hadnt
eaten any greasy fried food for over a year. We both enjoyed fish and shrimp and then left
to go to a movie. while in the movie theater, my stomach started making noises, but I
thought I would be ok. On the way home, I just quit talking and sat there with this look
on my face and he kept saying " what's wrong?" I kept answering " oh
nothing" when really I was sitting there puckering my asshole, because I thought i
was going to shit my pants. He continued to ask, so finally I said, step on it, get me
home quick or I am going to shit my pants!! He drove like a bat out of hell. I think he
was probably thinking " oh god, dont shit in my car!" anyway, I thought I was
going to have to have him stop and let me go in a cornfield, but I made it. when we pulled
up in his drive way, I got out of the car before it ever even stopped he said. I made him
stay at one end of the house, while I went to the bathroom at the other, I didnt want him
to hear me. I really didnt figure he would ask me out again, but he did. Later he made
jokes about it and told people I was so excited to go out with him, I almost shit my
pants, litterally! then he would tell them the story! It was embarrassing at the time, but
I laugh about it alot now. I even told the guy I am currently seeing and he started
laughing while we were eating out at a resturant last night, and when I asked why, he said
he was thinking of that story and he asked me before we left, if I needed to go shit,
because it was a long way home!! Hey, atleast we can all laugh about it! what good are
these kinds of stories if you cant laugh at yourself and share the stories and make others
laugh??
From Anonymous:
My most embarrassing moment in life occured
almost five years ago when a friend of mine and I went to the Supermarket to pick up some
last minute things for his bachelor party.
It was a beautiful summer day and we were
both in a great mood. As we came to the door of the Supermarket, it opened automatically
and he stepped ahead first. There was an older lady, probably mid-seventies, that I let
pass before me and then followed her in. My friend thought I was directly behind him, but
this elderly lady was between us.
Suddenly, he decided to throw his butt
backwards onto the unsuspecting elederly lady, and let one of these loud and fierce farts
go. He started with this big "I got you" type laughs, until he turned around and
realized who's lap he was practically sitting on, and then his face kind of went different
colors as though he was going to faint. I wish I had a camera at that moment. We still
talk about it to this day.
From Cathy:
One night I was at the club I used to go to
all the time. I went to the restroom while the band was on break and since they were still
on break when I got out, i walked back to our table across the dance floor. All these guys
were hooting and hollering at me and I thought "damn, I must be looking really hot
tonight", so I strutted the rest of the way back to the table really feeling good
about myself. I get back and my friends are laughing so hard they are falling out of their
chairs. I am then informed that not only do I have toilet paper attached to my high heels
(which is stretched all the way from the restroom to me) but my dress is tucked into the
back of my pantyhose and me with no panties. I drank at home for the next few weeks.
From Anonymous:
Alright so anyways i was in my
house with my girl friend and i was sitting on the coutch with her kinda fooling around
nothing serious and so my dad walks down the stairs in his whity tidies (the dude is fat
too) so i'm just sitting there in awe and he comes over to us and he puts his leg up so
his nuts are almost in our faces and he goes "Son thats one fine looking woman ya got
there yup" then he lets a huge fart go (i can still smell it to this
day) and he starts to walk away and he says "Oh look a quarter!" bends his ass
over kinda waves it around in front of us and from that fart he has a nice little brown
stain and he finally gets out and walks out of the room and my girl friends gets up and
runs out of the room.....i never saw her again....
From Anonymous:
I was about 15 years old and
me and my friends we out drinking in the bush. My boyfriend had brought me a pair of his
pants to wear because of the bugs, and I was only wearing shorts. He had this belt
on this pair of pants that I really didn't know how to use. So anyways, I was
getting to the point where I was feeling really good, and almost didn't know what I was
doing. I had to go pee really bad so one of my friends took me behind a fence beside
a corner store. Well, not knowing what I was doing, I couldn't get the weird belt
undone quite quick enough, but when I pulled down my pants, I fell down and I sat on the
pants and peed all over them. I came out behind the fence and there was a big circle
of people looking at me, and I started to realize what they were looking at! My
boyfriend was so embarassed because I had pee all over me, and because it was his pants.
Till this day, everyone says to me,"Do you remember when you pissed all over
those pants"?
I just kind of nod, and slowly slip away!!!
From Anonymous:
When I was little I use to sleep walk and use the potty at mid night. Well, one night I
went to a new friends house to spend the night. Well at about 12:00 or 1:00 I started
sleepwalking. I walked down the stairs and to where my bathroom would be, pulled open a
door, and peed in the clean clothes. Well, the next morning I woke up for breakfast and in
the middle of it my friends Mom asked who poured water on the clean clothes. My face
turned red and my friend looked at me funny(he knew I sleep walked!) his sister started
laughing and made milk go out her nose and all over the table. His Mom found out that I
peed in the clothes and I haven't spent the night over there again.
From Anonymous:
When I was about 10, I was swimming in my
pool with my 2 friends an my sister. As i was splashed about, I felt a huge urge to shit.
Now I was accustomed to pissin in the pool, this is 7 years later an I still pee in every
pool I swim in. However this was a new feeling for me while swimming. I knew I had to get
to a toilet in the next 6 seconds or i'd explode right there. I thought to myself,
"Eh, why get out of the pool? ur in a big toilet
right now!" Well needless to say I shit right in my pool. An boy were my friends
shcoked when they saw my big brown floater emerge to the top of the water. I nonchalantly
took the skimme an tossed the shit into my neighbors yard, only to have it splatter right
on top of my neighbors old head! boy wus that a piss of a day!
From Anonymous:
when i was a little girl, i was sick on my
birthday. that night, my mom was sleeping with me so she could help me when i was throwing
up. i had to go to the bathroom during the middle of the night, and my mom asked me,
" honey, do you need to go to the bathroom?" i said yes, so my mom got up out of
bed and went to the bathroom. little did she know that i was sleep talking. so while she
went down the hall and open upped the door to the bathroom and turned on the light, i went
the opposite direction. to my brothers room. i opened up the door, turned on the light,
pulled down my pants and squatted and peaed right there!!!!!!!!
From really embarrassed:
This first story happened to me when I was in 7th grade. We were all taking a test in my
history class, so it was really quiet. I had to fart really bad but there was no way I was
going to let one rip in that plastic chair and have everybody hear me, so I held it
in and after a while the urge went away and I had forgotten all about it. Well all of a
sudden I sneezed which is no big deal, but at the same time as my sneeze I let out the
fart that had been building up pressure from being held in so long. It was sooo loud and
the plastic chair made it even louder. For the rest of the year I was known as the
"snarter",, and to make it even worse,,,, the cutest guy in school was sitting
right behind me.
From Anonymous:
When I was four years old, my father was
the owner of a little family store.Everyday I would get just about anything that I wanted
out of the store.So one afternoon I was trying to be sneaky.I took what I thought was
bubblegum into the restroom and hid until I ate it all up.So once I gobbled down what I
thought was gum.I went outside because all of my family was standing outside.I was
bragging I got something ya ain't got,over and over again.Just shakin my fanny back and
forth.My older brother grabbed to pick me up and swung me back and forth.I told him to
stop.He swung me until I slipped out of his hands and hit the ground.Boom.I said look what
you made me do.Ou ou .I had Po Po all over myself and cryed like a baby.My brother and
sister laughed so hard not only because I had my a mess all over myself,but because I
thought I was all that when I had gum and they didn't.Only to find out I had chew and
swollowed a entire pack of Fennamint(Laxative) that looks like a regular pack of gum.Now
this memory I can remember just like it happened yesterday.My sister still picks on me to
this day also.
From Anonymous:
My trip to the West Indies was the most
embarrassing moment of my life. Sunday after church, my aunt, myself and my 2 sisters went
to aunts friend house, they had a young sister I was talking to. Well, anyway, I asked to
use the bathroom they said OK go to the bushes.Lickely did they know I had to take a
serious sh*t(diareah and all). so I went inside the house to use the toilet without anyone
noticing. When I went inside the bathroom I notice there was no toilet everything was
still under construction. And I couldn't hold it any longer so I sh*tted inside the tub.
After I went to wipe my ass when I notice there was no paper and was to late I already too
I shitted on myself and all over the bathroom. So I said fuck that and decided to wipe my
ass with the shower curtain.
But that's not the funny part, I went home.
On my way home everyone was looking to see if the step on shit even myself knowing that I
shitted on myself. when I went home my grand mother was like "what the fuck is that
smell" so began to search everyone. When she got to me she made me drop my pants and
there it was "SHIT" every where!!!
From Anonymous:
In my senior year of high school, my best
friend and I decided to ditch school and take a little road trip up to Durango, Colorado.
Well, it was late December, and REALLY cold. There was an outhouse by this campground
area, so I decided to go there. But, because it was winter, the out house was closed, as
was the campground. So I drove a little ways up the road, and pulled over, completely
missing the sign that said "Point of Interest." There was definitely a point of
interest that day. MY A**!!!! I climbed down this big hill, and told my friend to watch
for people. All of a sudden I was squatting down with my pants around my ankles when my
friend yelled, "There's people!" I ignored her, thinking that she meant that
there were people at the top of the hill, and she yelled again, "There's people right
behind you!!" I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough! There was an elderly couple
pointing at me and trying VERY hard not to laugh. I pulled up my pants and ran up the
hill. To this day, my friend teases my about it!!!
From Little Leaker:
Well the leak was not a little leak. I had
been sleeping over my friends house and I had to go pee. Now my friend had 2 dogs. 1
started barking, so my friend had told me about the robberies on his block. This was a big
house no doubt. So he said that lets go check it out. Now I was scared, so I said I am not
the Hardy boys and Nancy Drew. So we stayed there. Then I had waken up
in the middle of the night, and I had to go
pee so bad it wasn't funny. So i tried to wake up my friend, but he didn't so I went
looking for the bathroom. I was damn scared. then I couldn't hold it anymore. I tried to
open my zipper and pee but I was toooooo slow. I started peeing in my pants in the
bathroom. It kinda got over the bathroom, so I cleaned it up. Then in the morning we had
basketball practice, well a game. And I had just peed in my only pair of pants. Now it was
freezing in the morning and I had nothing to except for my Boxers!LoL. So I went to the
game and played in my boxers in freezing wheather. Wasn't too bad though. Because I got
sick and stayed out of school for 2 weeks. But then I had a hell load of homework to do.
how I did that? A different story.
From Anonymous:
When I had my child, the hospital I was at
had a rule where a woman had to stay for 3 days total after having a baby. Well, I finally
delivered a healthy baby girl.A nurse came in and gave me a supposatory. That was the 4th
one since I had the baby. (I did not know I shouldn't had any more than one that day).
Well, my in-laws came in to visit later that day. I was sitting in a chair talking to
them, when suddenly my stomache started gurgling. I looked at my husband and said " I
better go use the bathroom". I was slowing going to stand when I noticed there was
something going ALL OVER!! I looked behind me and it was -well you know-. It went all
over! Wwell, I quickly sat down and told my husband"I can't stop it"! In the
mean time my father and mother in laws are sitting right next to me. All they could do is
stare in disbelief. My husband thought quickly and pushed me into the bathroom -chair and
all. He then shut the door and called a nurse to help me clean up. Of course when I came
back out of the bathroom, my in-laws were gone. Now every time I see a nurse I think about
that awful, but now funny moment.
From Anonymous:
My embarassing story happened almost five
years ago and still to this day I haven't managed to forget the memory of it.
I had just started to go out with this
really goodlooking lad and everything seemed to be going really well. Around two weeks
into the relationship he asked me to come to house to meet his parents. He was from a very
well-to-do family from Blackrock in Dublin and his mother had said that I was to call
aroung for "high-tea".
I arrived at the house and I was really
nervous but it was all going very well and I really liked his parents. After we had had
our tea in the conservatory, I excused myself to go and use the bathroom. Anyhow, much to
my horror I had the number twos!! It was like a nightmare the way it happened, but
unfortunately the toilet wouldn't flush. I was really stuck and I didn't want to embarass
myself by saying anything so I decided the best thing was to scoop out the poo and throw
it out the window. Maybe then if they found it in the garden they would think it was a dog
or something like that.
I composed myself again and I went down to
the conservatory to my boyfriend and his parents. As I walked into the conservatory
everyone was looking at me and I didn't know why. Then they all looked up to the ceiling
and I followed their eyes. When I looked up I saw the poo that I had just thrown out the
window sliding down the glass roof of the conservatory. I ran out of the house and I never
saw that guy again!!
From Anonymous:
A few years ago a bunch of my friends and I
went to our state basketball tourney. The first night there we all decided to go
bar-hopping. On our way to one bar we went through the back parking lot of the restraunt
next door. Out beside the dumpster was an old flush that waiting to be taken away. Well,
someone had a camera and thought it would be funny if one of us would sit on it. So I
dropped my drawers and sat on the throne. (I was loaded). The embarrasing thing was that
the parents (of the girl I was dating at the time), came out to get to their car. What
could I do? So I just waved and smiled a big hello. Needless to say that relationship
didn't last long. It was a funny picture though.
From Anonymous:
Pay Back 4 Dad....
One day as my mom, dad and I was driving
back from my moms Doctor Appointment my dad said he wasn't feeling well. As soon as we got
by the drive way he felt the excrutiating need to fart, and at this time the mail lady
that he had a crush on was by our mailbox. As soon as he leaned out of the car *Blurp* he
let a wet one go, as she looked in his direction he was holding his ass cheeks tight and
wobbling over to the house when all of a sudden it looked like brown corn chowder with
extra corn running down his leg in a massive stream!! As he ran his corny ass in the house
the mail lady and i was laughing our asses off outside!
From K:
At Christmas time I went to my friends
house with my girlfriend. Earlier at home I had a stomach problem. So I took some pepto
and went. We stayed for about 15 minutes and all of the sudden my stomach was killing me.
So I waited for them to leave the room. Then I tried to fart so nobody could hear me, but
unfortunatly I was sitting on a plastic chair and not only was it a little too loud, But I
sh*t all in my pants. So I ran to the bathroom and wipped it off my leg. When I got out of
the bathroom they smelled my sh*t. So I tied My girlfriends shirt around my waist real
quick and left! I wanted To just DIE
From Anonymous:
one time when i was in eigth grade, i went
to a pool party everyone was going to. i went shopping to get a new bikini to show off to
my crush. it was hot green, and it was really tiny, and it had jellys for padding cause i
was really flat. when i got there i hopped in with everyone else. then i suddenly felt the
urge that i had to fart. well, i farted, but all the people who were in there ran out.
when i looked down, i was surrounded by diarrea and one of my jelly had fallen out and was
floating on the top. that was the most embarrising time in my life
From KP:
WHEN I WAS IN THE SEVENTH GRADE, I WAS JUST
GETTING USED TO THE WHOLE OVULATING THING. I HAD ONLY STARTED MY PERIOD THE SUMMER BEFORE.
EVERYTIME I GOT IT, IT GOT A LITTLE HEAVIER. I WAS STILL TO AFRAID TO TRY TAMPONS AND
RELIED ON PADS TO GET ME THROUGH. I WAS SITTING IN ENGLISH CLASS AND STOOD UP FOR A
MOMENT. MY FRIEND SAID TO ME "YOU HAVE A HUGE RED SPOT ON YOUR SHORTS!" I
THOUGHT SHE WAS KIDDING AND TO PROVE HER WRONG I STOOD UP AND TURNED TO THE BOY I HAD BEEN
CRUSHING ON ALL YEAR, BENT OVER AND SAID "ANYTHING THERE?" TO MY HORRIBLE
SUPRISE HE CONFIRMED THAT YES INDEED MY PAD HAD LEAKED. I WAS MORTIFIED. I HAD TO GO TO
THE NURSE AND IN ORDER TO DO SO, I HAD TO GET UP INFRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. I TRIED TO
PULL MY SHIRT OVER MY BUTT AND WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM. THAT BOY NEVER LOOKED AT ME AGAIN
AND FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR EVERYONE CALLED ME LEAK!
From Amazed:
Well I was in eighth grade and it was that
time of the month. I was in the band room and the bell rang to go to the next class. I
stood up and I felt you know what gush out of me. I asked my best friend Mary, if there
was anything on my pants, and she said only a little speck that you couldn't notice. Well
I went to the bathroom, and it was a lot more than a little speck. It had covered the butt
of my jeans (my shirt was luckily covering it). I was so embarrased.
From N/J:
one time i was at a seattle resaraunt with
my sister and my grandma who came up to visit us from california. well after we started
home, i had to pee really bad but i decided that i could wait until we got home. bad idea.
i had to go so bad, i sat sat in someones front yard and peed in it in grass in front of
everyone. i was so embarssed!
From T:
I went to an all girls school, which ment
you had to where one of those little kilts. So one day after school I go to meet my
brother at the mall. I told him that I would meet him at the food court. Well the mall was
pretty packed that day, with everyone doing there christmas shopping. I couldn,t see my
brother yet, and went to use the bathroom. When I came out I walked around looking for him
but no luck. While standing there waiting for him to come an older lady 60-70 came up to
me. She said,"Excuse me young lady but your kilt seem to be caught in your
tights."
I just wanted to die, I ran to the bathroom
and stayed there for half an hour. I finely went down found my brother and told him I was
going home.
From Anonymous:
There was a pool party at this cute guys
house I really liked him. He made shakes at the party I was sitting by my friends. I had
to got to the bathroom to brush my and when I was in the bathroom my friends put a pill
that makes your pee purple. When I came back I drank my shake and went in the pool. I was
talking to my crush when I had to pee and i didn't want to get up and go so i went in the
water. All the sudden there was this big purple spot around me I was so emmbaressed i ran
home i never talked to him again.
