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| CHANGES IN A GOVERNMENT RUN BY PRO WRESTLERS
* Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster. * President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera. * IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema. * Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners - Hey, wait a minute... * Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school. * Sex scandals now involve even skankier women. * January 20: Inauguration ceremonies. January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house. * During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair. * Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal. * Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker. * Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial. * Before: Mr. Vice President
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