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HOW FOOTBALL IS RELATIVE TO CHURCH
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the closing hymn. Draw Play - What many children do with the order of service during worship. Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave. Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit. Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service. Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work. Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings. Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations. Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime". Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep. End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member. Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life. Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service. Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
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