|
YOU MIGHT BE IN A COUNTRY CHURCH IF...
* The doors are never locked. * The Call to Worship is, "Y'all come on in!" * People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark. * The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up. * The restroom is outside. * Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday. * A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out of." * In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves." * Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables. * When it rains, everybody's smiling. * Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service. * A singing group is known as "The O.K. Chorale." * The church directory doesn't have last names. * The pastor wears boots. * Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday. * The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can't leave them a bag of squash. * There is no such thing as a "secret'' sin. * Baptism is referred to as "branding.'' * There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank. * Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable. * You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your health. * High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling. * People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish. * It's not heaven, but you can see heaven from there. * The final words, of the benediction are, "Y'all come on back now, ya hear!"
|
|
|
|
Brought to you by Unwind.com
|
