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| YOU MIGHT BE A TEXAS PEACE OFFICER IF...
- If your hat, belt and boots cost more than your sidearm. - If you know what a 'court gun' is. - If you have a 'court gun'. - If directions to a location involve livestock, property descriptions, or the words "When you get off the pavement." - If the winner of the last three bar room brawls was last years Homecoming Queen. - Dressing up for court involves pressed Wranglers and a Brushpopper shirt. - If anyone on the Department is named 'Bubba'. - If you don't know Bubba's real name. - If Bubba is his real name. - If you've ever gotten a confession from a critter by threatening him with either his Mama or God. - If your interview for the job involved the question: "Can you take a whuppin'?" - If you have more weapons and ammunition in your cruiser than most small nations have in their armies. - If you've ever had an 'Officer Involved Shooting' where the victim was a feral hog or other four-pawed critter with an appetite. - If the caliber of your sidearm is regarded as an artillery round in Europe. - You've ever had to mediate a dispute concerning the paternity of a litter of puppies. - If you have the impression that the Feds regard your department as being marginally more civilized than the Viking Hordes. - If you think all back-up is 30 miles away and asleep in bed. - If you've ever gone to an emergency wearing only your hat, pajamas, gun and boots. - If spurs are a department-issued item.
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