WAYS YOU CAN TELL YOU ARE A LOSER

* You actually think wrestling is the best form of entertainment there is.

* Your imaginary friends keep finding excuses not to come over.

* You pick your nose and don't care who sees you.

* You're dog won't even sniff your balls.

* You try to commit suicide by jumping out of a one story window, fail and wonder why.

* You are over 30 and still living with your parents.

* You are so annoying that even your multiple personalities won't speak to you any more.

* You find that your friends consist of an old teddy bear named "Cuddles" and a dead pet goldfish named "Freddy" (with his scales rubbed off from constant petting).

* Your social life consists of your weekly visits to the local shrink.

* Your first name is totally unknown to the public because of that incident in 1st grade that dubbed you "Farty-Pants."

* You are over 18 years of age and still pee in the public pool.

* You look forward to going to a Catholic church for confession just so you can have someone to talk to.

* You're still talking about that cool party you went to 2 years ago.

* You welcome calls from phone salesmen because no one else will talk to you.

* You get fired from you job at McDonalds.

* Your mom still pick your clothes out for you.

* You're a part of the *Steve Urkel* fan club.

* You think that Jack Daniel's is a folk singer.

* You take a look at your last mug shot and think, "Hey, ... I'm pretty photogenic!"

* Someone tells you to go "jack off" ...  so you do.

* You practice displaying your butt crack to get a head start on your future career as a plumber.

* You find that after watching one of those commercials with a mom and daughter, you begin to doubt your own freshness.... and you're a GUY.

* You can't wait to watch "Friends" because that's what they are to you.