MILITARY RULES OF COMBAT

* If the enemy is in range, so are you.

* Incoming fire has the right of way.

* Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

* There is always a way.

* The easy way is always mined.

* Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

* Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

* The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them and when you're not ready for them.

* Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

* If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

* If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

* Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

* The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

* When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

* When in doubt empty the magazine.

* Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

* Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.

* Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

* Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

* A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

* Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

* The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.

* Five second fuses only last three seconds.

* It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

* The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

* A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

* If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

* When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

* Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

* If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.