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THE NUT SHOP
A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen in his life. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise, and asks... "Ess-tues me ser?" "Yes sir," replied the clerk. "Tould you tale me how mutsh youre pisstasheos arr?" "Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound." "SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr youre aahhmons?" "Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound." "SSIT!" replied the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout youre pikanns?" "Pecans? They're on sale today...they're only four fifty a pound." "Welp...SSit...just div me a poulnd of dose dhen." "Alrighty then," says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans. Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it." The clerk replies with a smile, "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody, for anything. I don't know if you noticed or not, but I have a rather large nose." The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your dick cauz your nutz arr so damn high!"
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