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| GENTLEMAN'S LETTER OF APOLOGY
Dear Mr., Mrs., or Ms., Please forgive my behavior at the party last night. I know my actions were terrible, and I beg you to excuse me. Please check all that apply. Mr. _______ regrets exceedingly his deplorable conduct while a guest at your party on _______ and begs forgiveness for the breach(es) of etiquette checked below. __Spilling Drink __Picking Nose at Table __Scratching Nuts With Salad Fork __Indiscriminate Spitting __Complete Loss of Equilibrium __Indiscriminate Goosing __Inspecting Hosiery __Belching __Passing Out __Failure to Zip Up Pants __Hunting Female Navel __Frequent and Prolonged Absence From Party __Pissing in Sink __Taking Off Pants __Gut Rumbling __Unfastening Bras on Various Ladies __Loud Farting __Biting Tits of Various Females __Pissing in the punch bowl __Fondling the breast of the hostess or guests __Disappearing for extended periods of time with someone else's wife. __Scratching nuts with pickle fork __Unrestrained farting __Throwing up in the fish tank __Using my dick to stir my drink __Using my dick to stir someone else's drink __Exposing my private parts __Exposing someone else's private parts __ALL OF THE ABOVE
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