| 'TWAS
THE NIGHT OF Y2K
'Twas the week after Christmas
And all through the house,
Not one PC was working
Not even a mouse.
I turned on the power
But nothing was working.
I grab the computer
and start banging and jerking.
I laid out three grand
For this big piece of junk.
On January 1st
The damn thing went kerplunk!
When I threw it out the window
It made such a clatter.
My neighbor just called
To see what's the matter.
I turned on the TV
The cable is down.
My microwave oven
Is making weird sounds.
My new VCR
Is as dead as a rock.
Not one light is blinking
Not even the clock.
It's twenty below..
The peak of snow season.
The furnace won't work
The pipe's are all freezing.
This couldn't have happened
At a worse time.
I think I have frostbite
On my behind.
I laughed for a second
And thought it all funny.
Then came a call from my bank
In regard to my money.
"We managed your pension
And savings with care
But for some odd reason
Your money's not there."
"We were Y2K ready.
We thought we'd be heroes
But regret to inform you
Your balance is ZERO!"
I drop the receiver
To the bathroom I rush.
I push down the handle
The toilet won't flush.
I turn on the faucet
Not one drop hits the sink.
I head out the door
To the pub for a drink.
I jump in the car
Turn the key in the switch.
It only goes "click."
I scream, "SON OF A BITCH!"
A computerized ignition
Has just sealed my fate.
Not set up
For the "2000" date.
I twitch like a madman
This cannot be true!
No car, heat, or money
What the hell will I do?
Shouting obscenities
As I run out of sight,
"Happy Y2K to all
It's been one hell of a night!"
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