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| EXCUSES GIVEN BY GUARDS AT THE EMPTY TOMB OF JESUS
- "I thought he was the pizza delivery guy leaving. No wondered he smiled when I tried to give him a tip!" - "I was putting another denarius in the chariot meter!" - "With the earth shakin' and all the bright lights, we figured we was abducted by aliens!" - "Since the tomb was already empty when the stone was rolled away, I'm afraid you're speaking to the wrong department. Let me give you a BR#245-A-Res form and direct you to Burial Services." - "As we've already stated several times before, according to the legal definition of "escape," we emphatically deny any wrong doing in this matter!" - "We was HYPNO-TIZED! Centurion Bobicus is still clucking like a chicken!" - "You told us to secure the tomb as best as we know how (Mat. 27:65). We did! May I suggest an assessment of our current training program?" - "All I know is, this better not mess up my early retirement package!" - "Hey! What'd you expect? Did you tell us we were guarding the Son of God? NOOOOOOOO!" - "What's the big deal? He said He'd be back!"
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